“I need to drink this beer”

“Why?!”

“What?”

_

“Dude I really need to spray right now”

“Yea, I really gotta poop too but I know if I get on the pot I won’t poop at all; I’ll just fart a bunch”

_

“DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS”

“USE WORDS”

“DICKS IS WORDS”

_

“I like yoghurt because it, like, gives me my dairy servings without having to drink milk”

“Isn’t yoghurt, like, made from milk?”

“Nah brah, that’s totally wrong”

_

“The only thing I ever post on my tumblr is Bill Murray”

“That’s so cool!”

_

“I want to die”

“So do I”

“No you don’t”